It’s been a terrible year for stress. The accelerating pace of life (emails! texts! social media!) and the erosion of job security (outsourcing! downsizing! zero-hour contracts!) were already in place, and then Covid-19 crash-landed on top of everything, threatening our health, our livelihoods and our freedom.
But what do we do when we’re hit by stress? We ignore it. Not always and not everyone, but for most of us, most of the time, ignoring stress and anxiety is the easy option.
I’ve done it myself. Over the years I’ve really suffered with mental-health issues, and I kind of shut them away for long periods and didn’t really understand why I felt the way I felt. The hardest thing was simply admitting there was a problem. But once I got over that hurdle, I was able to look around and realise that, to some degree or other, everyone has mental-health issues.
When you’ve acknowledged the presence of stress or anxiety or unhappiness, the next step is deciding what to do. There’s the clinical route, which is a great option if that’s what you need, but there are also things we can do ourselves. For me, it’s about bringing things into my life that make a difference. I need to think about what I do and who I surround myself with, and what kind of things make me happy. We just don’t spend enough time doing those things, and sometimes we get happiness mixed up with having money and buying more stuff. More often than not, it’s the simple things that can really improve mental health – conversations, sharing our stories, listening and being listened to.
In recent months, three things have really helped me stay positive.
First, two friends – Nathan and Cassandra – and I set up something we call the ‘Cromer Walking Gang’. We simply walk and talk, discussing things we wouldn’t normally talk about and having some real debates. By talking about our lives we’ve genuinely helped each other to unlock things.
Second, I started talking to my family a bit more. My sisters have been absolutely brilliant, and the time I’ve had with my young daughter has been amazing. The opportunity to spend continuous time with her, week after week after week, has been wonderful, and it’s given me real purpose. Having purpose can massively improve mental health.
Finally, creating Ask Stephen has been huge. It’s allowed me to show people what I’m all about – the real me, the non-corporate me – and there’s been some lovely feedback, which I really cherish and I’ll take forward with me. It’s about purpose again. Ask Stephen means I’m able to help other people and help myself in the process.
Keeping it simple works.